The Breastfeeding Brawl

Our new son Kenny fell asleep while trying his first breastfeeding. I called the nurse in and asked her to check my IV arm. It was hurting and tingling and just annoying the crap out of me. She came in, changed the bag and noticed there was a clot of blood stuck in the vial attached to the needle. I expected her to remove the vial and change it for a new one. Nope, she told me to hold on, "this may feel a little uncomfortable" as she forced fluid into the vial to push the clot back into my body. WHAT!! I do read the papers, I do keep up on medical news as best I can. It is my understanding that blood clots in your blood stream can KILL you. I pushed her away and told her to take the IV out or I will. She gave me this snotty look and said, "What, are you still mad at me because I had trouble getting the needle in earlier today?" Then it hit me, no wonder I felt my hackles rise up when she came in the room. This is the same moronic, idiotic bimbo who couldn't figure out how to get the needle in my arm earlier! I ripped the tape off my hand and pulled the needle out myself. I pressed the back of my hand into the sheet until the bleeding stopped. She stormed out of the room.

The older nurse came in and tried to calmly explain to me that I needed the medications in the IV to help with the pain. I told her to give it to me orally. She told me that my body needed the fluid to prevent dehydration. I told her to give me a glass of water. She sighed and said she would call my doctor. Dr Chacon must have backed me up because she returned about half an hour later with a glass of water and a couple of pain pills. Ha, I win again. I know that working in the medical fields isn't the easiest job, it is sad, stressful and hard, but I was having no complications. Everything about my delivery (except my refusal to sleep and my attitude) was textbook. I simply don't understand what the hell was wrong with these people.

We survived the first night with few problems. Kenny and I got poked and prodded and were told things were fine. Early the next morning Kenny started to cry. I mean really cry. I freaked out. I called the nurse. A nurse I have never seen came in. She poked him some more and told me that I can try to feed him again, but he was still probably not "truly" hungry. I propped him up on a pillow and got bit again. Not hungry my butt. Kenny was so hungry he was chewing! He was having trouble sucking. I asked the nurse to help me get him latched on correctly. She tried. He latched on, but not very well. At least it was good enough to keep him happy for the moment. After about 10 minutes, he again fell asleep.

Dr Toth. The pediatrician I researched and chose, came in to check on Kenny. Kenny was fine and now it was time for the circumcition. Ok. He took Kenny and Jason into another room for the procedure. I could not, did not want to be there for that one! When Jason came back he was as pale as a ghost. Kenny was screaming and beet red. I calmed him down by singing to him and after he fell asleep, I tried to calm down my husband. He wasn't ranting and raving, but he looked a little green around the gills.

I requested to speak with the breastfeeding "specialist" because I wanted to make sure things were going right. I must feed this baby. She came in and showed me positions, I freaked, afraid that I would suffocate him. My boobs where huge! I had to purchase a 40 H nursing bra!! Over the next four hours I tried repeatedly to get Kenny to latch on. He was still having trouble. The "specialist" told me it was normal for some babies not to get it right away. Ok. I can handle that.

Chacon came in to check me out. He asked me to be nicer to the nurses. I told him I would if I meet a nurse who was competent. I told him I was starving. He said I couldn't eat anything solid but could have broth and water. Gee, thanks. After he left I sent Jason to the cafeteria for a muffin and a cup of coffee.

Later, I was allowed to stand up. OH MY GOD!! That really really really really really hurt!! Ok, I have my feet under me. Now they want me to go and shower then take a little walk. Ok, I can do this. It wasn't easy, but I pushed through.

They brought me a rocking chair so that I could be more comfortable breastfeeding. Kenny was again really hungry so I sat down and went to work. The nurses left the room as I got started. Again, I couldn't get Kenny to latch on. Neither boob was working. I know he was getting something because when the suction failed there was some fluid there. I started to cry. No, I started to bawwl. What the hell was I doing wrong? Why can't I feed my baby? I felt like I was surrounded by people who didn't give a crap about me or my baby. My husband was still in awe at seeing my breast out in public. I felt really alone.

I called in the breast feeding specialist again and she helped me get Kenny on right. She did notice that he was a lazy eater and told me that I will have trouble for the next week or so until he learns what this is all about. Ok, I can deal with that. At least I have an answer.

Here is the best part.

Later that night, it must have been close to 11 p.m., Kenny was again awake and hungry. I got in position to breastfeed. Again, he wouldn't latch on. I called the nurse. The specialist had left but I figure any nurse on the maternity floor would be able to help right? NO. This nurse (much older) walks in, all smiles. I told her what was going on. I explained what the "specialist" had said. She looked at me like I was an idiot. She took Kenny's head in one hand, my breast in the other hand and tried to force the nipple in his mouth. I pushed her away. What the hell? She then verbally told me to do this, that, switch, hang upside, do cartwheels....whatever. I asked her politely (yep I was polite) to leave and that I would be able to get it eventually with my husbands help. The look she gave me was horrible. Her face screwed into this "devil's mask" and she spat out something I will never forget, " If YOU can't be a good mom and feed your baby, then I will take him when you are asleep and give him a bottle in the nursery!" Who the hell hired Satan's mother!!

Jason told her to leave and I asked him to please lock the door. He said there was no lock. I asked him to help me back into bed. I lay there all night long, no sleep for me. I was so afraid this woman was going to come and take my baby. I called Chacon's service at about 5a.m. the next morning with an urgent message that he call me right away. He called about 7. I told him I wanted to go home...NOW! He asked me what happened. I told him. I handed the phone to Jason. He told him. Chacon said he would be in ASAP.

Chacon showed up around 9 am. He checked me out and told me that I could go home as soon as the pediatrician checked out Kenny. He signed my discharge papers and apologized for the staff. He told Jason to call to make a check-up appointment in a week, or to come in if there were any problems, real or imagined. We said ok. About 40 minutes later Dr Toth came in. He poked, prodded and weighed Kenny. Perfect. He told me I made a beautiful baby, signed the papers and told me to bring Kenny in five days for a check up. Ok. Ready to go. A day early. Get me the Hell out of here!!

A totally NEW nurse (to us) came in with a wheel chair. I cuddled Kenny, sat down in the chair. Jason grabbed the bags and the car seat. The nurse waited until this moment to tell me that she can't let us go. WHAT? Apparently we are not allowed to leave the maternity wing until the baby is secured into the carseat. No I am not making that up!! We locked poor Kenny into the carseat. Jason piled the bags and such on my lap and craddled the carseat in his arms. Out the doors, into the elevator.

First floor. I asked to stop by the information desk. We did. I asked the desk attendant for a form to file an official complaint against some of the staff. She looked at me like I was insane. Oh well. I got the form. We headed to the parking lot. Jason left Kenny with me and ran to get the truck. I expected the nurse to turn and go when I stood up. Nope, she insisted that she watch as we latch Kenny, in his seat, into the truck. AM I FIVE! I don't need a babysitter. Ok, fine. Just get me the HELL away from these people. All buckled in, I in the passenger seat, Jason driving. We got about three blocks away. I told Jason to pull over.

Now, I know that you have formed an opinion of me over the last month. This story is all true to the best of my memory and I hope that it has touched you too. So, when I tell you this next part, please understand that I am not a totally bad person. Just a little...um....a bit of a control freak.

Jason pulled over. I told him to help me out. He did. Then I asked that he help me into the driver's seat. He balked. I gave him my "look" and he eventually gave in. I asked him to ride in the back with Kenny. Somewhere in my strange psychotic little mind I could not imagine letting anyone ANYONE no matter how much I loved, trusted or respected them drive MY baby around in a vehicle.