Breastfeeding, Puking, Newspapers

We settled comfortably into our room with our new baby. Felicia, even today, is a scrappy young lady. By scrappy, I mean a little evil, a little angelic, a little pushy and over all a full, on GIRL! She is one of those souls that is born knowing what she wants and nothing will stop her from getting her way. This was evident in the womb, and even more so in the first few hours of her "outside" life! Right away she wanted what I not-so-delicately call "boob." Like a puppy or kitten nuzzling in and kneading out the milk, Felicia seemed to not only want to breasfeed, she somehow knew where the food came from, who had it, and the best way to extract it.

This amazed me! Kenny had so much trouble latching on. He seemed lazy and sloppy about it. Felicia awoke from our little nap and wiggled her way around until she was nuzzled up to my breast, face first. I opened the gown and let her in, and I swear to you I thought this child was going for blood!! She gnawed and suckled right off with such vigor I could actually imagine claws suddenly popping from her sweet little fingers and threatening me harm if I didn't give up the gold! Yes, I read too much Stephen King. In my defense, even the nurses were surprised. A woman's milk usually doesn't fully come in until about two or three days after giving birth. Thanks to Felicia's persistence, my milk started to come in that evening! I was so worried about the breastfeeding. Those horrible feelings flooded into my head replaying the events I went through trying to get Kenny on the boob. Felicia's instant "gimme" attitude settled those fears right away.

With the worry of feeding Felicia out of the way, I was able to focus a little on myself. I have been insisting for weeks that I would not allow the nurses to keep food from me. I know you aren't supposed to eat after such surgery, but I couldn't help but wonder if the lack of food hurt Kenny's ability to breastfeed. When I asked for something to eat the nurses were cautious, but never told me no. Relief! I started out with crunched ice, jello and a little broth with some crackers. I scarfed this down like crazy then I went through four cups of crushed ice. My tummy was full and Felicia was sleeping in her little cradle thingie. I settled back on the bed and relaxed. Jason and I talked about how soon it would be before I could take a shower. My psoriasis was starting to stiffen up and crack in places. I didn't need a skin infection on top of a surgery so we called the nurse in so that we could ask about a shower. As the nurse entered the room I projectile vomited all over the bed and myself! It came out of nowhere! One second I was relaxed and comfortable, glowing in post-eating bliss, the next second every bit of fluid in my body was escaping as if shot out of a pressure washer!! I didn't even feel nauseous!!!! What the HELL!

The nurse went into action. She handed my stunned husband a stack of towels from the cupboard, pulled me out of bed into a chair, wrapped up the bedding tossing it into a big hamper near the door, washed my face, pulled back my hair, cleaned my hands, checked my vitals, iv's and breathing, and calmed the panic look off my face all in less than 30 seconds!!! She was like a derranged octopus! My GOD! I just sat there like a lump!! I was shocked, amazed and totally impressed with this nurse!

After getting me into the bathroom and setting me on the potty, the nurse called out to the desk to have my bed remade. Jason kept watch over Felicia (who slept through it all) while my supernurse got me into the shower. I was weaker than I wanted to be. Weaker than I ever wanted to admit to being, weaker than I was after Kenny, but this nurse not only helped to clean me up, she allieviated my panic, stress and embarrasment. She spoke softly to me and even joked about how this wasn't so bad. She helped to dry me off then proceded to help me get my psoriasis medication gooped all over my body. I honestly just kind of went into a daze. When she opened the bathroom door back into the room, the bed was done, Jason was holding Felicia, another tray was waiting holding a cup of ice water and everything looked so perfect that you would never know that an adult woman just lost her cookies and her pride. Jason still looked like a deer caught in the headlights and Felicia was waking up fussing and squirming, asking for more boob. I couldn't believe it.

Supernurse helped me back into bed, took Felicia from Jason and positioned her for feeding, actually APOLOGIZED for my debacle and left saying she would check on us soon. Felicia gnawed at my breast. Jason and I just looked at eachother for a while trying to let it all sink in. After a few minutes the fog was lifted when the phone rang. Carol and Kenny were at the desk and they needed Jason to go out and sign them in to visit.

Kenny and Carol walked in the room, Jason behind them. My world instantly lit up. I was concerned that I wouldn't think about Kenny OR all I would do was think about Kenny. It was awesome to have this wonderful little family all together! I introduced Kenny to his sister and Carol gushed over how beautiful she was. The visit was short, ending with Jason walking Carol and Kenny out to the car. I missed him so much! I cuddled with Felicia and fell asleep.

I awoke to a nurse checking my vitals. Jason was napping on the little couch and Felicia was staring up at my face. Not long after the nurse left, Supernurse arrived to give me an extra-check. She asked me if I was up to an interview. "For what?" I asked. "The newspaper sent over a reporter to interview you about having the New Year Baby." Wow. I agreed and the nurse told me that she would tell the reporter to come up around 3pm.

3 O'clock rolls around and in walks this little reporter chick and her male PHOTOGRAPHER!!! No one mentioned pictures!! Holy COW!! I look like shit. This guy asked permission to take pictures and Jason popped up, "Sure." Oh, proud daddy doesn't care if a picture of his horrid looking wife is circulated all over town. I CARE!! I told the guy to be nice about any pictures of me. He smiled, agreed and said he understood. He took some photos of Felicia in her cradle, with her daddy and then with me. He then sat in the background while the reporter asked me some questions. I answered the questions as best I could. I was on pain medication, but I think I came off as semi-intelligent. I told her about my grandmother and how wonderful she was. I told her about losing my grandmother and how significant it was to me to give Felicia part of her name. I told her about Kenny. About how hard it was for us to get pregnant in the first place. All in all it was ok. I was actually proud and honored.

We were on the front page the next day!!

Later that evening, one of the volunteer's at the hospital brought us a little basket of lovely gifts. A hand knitted sweater and hat, books, gift certificates, cards and flowers. We finally let it sink in that not only was Felicia special because she is our daughter, she is special to everyone else too. It is good to know that others look on your child as something worth celebrating. Every child is worth celebrating.