Christmas and New Year

So here comes Kenny's second Christmas. The excitment was oozing off me and everyone could see it. Yes, I was nervous that in just a week I would be giving birth to my baby girl, but this was the first Christmas that Kenny would get some understanding of at least how to open a gift, how to give a gift and how to get into the spirit in general.

Leading up to the holiday I went nuts with gifts. I didn't spend an obscene amount of money, but I picked up every single cute, stupid, cheap little trinket I could find that had anything to do with being a "dad" at Christmas or being a "boy" at Christmas. As it turned out, Jason and Kenny had about 20 gifts each under the tree. While shopping, I taught Kenny how to put quarters into the Red Cross buckets, showed him how to decorate cookies to give to friends, attempted to explain to him how important it is to help and love people and drove it home by having him help me deliver the little bits of baking that I did that year. I think he got it. He was excited to see the smiles when we handed over a little plate of cookies with a bow on top. He was even more excited when just about everyone offered him a cookie after receiving the plate. It is part of my job as a mother to teach my kids the meaning of giving, so I guess it is ok that he ate like 10 cookies that day, Right?

Jason, being the man that he is, of course did not notice the increasing pile of paper wrapped boxes and gift bags under the tree. On Christmas Eve, as we were helping Santa set up Kenny's little toddler basket ball hoop and filling the stockings Jason dug under the tree to check the water. "Paula, why are there 8 gifts back here with my name on them?" I replied, "Because they are for you." He went on,"I know there are a bunch in the front with my name on them too. How many gifts did you get me?" I told him, "I only got you about seven, Kenny got you the rest." He stared at me for a long time. What did he want me to say. It is Christmas, right. You give to those you love. You share the spirit of family, home, happiness and charity. I simply chose to be very charitable. It had nothing to do with my hormones. It had nothing to do with the fact that I was so awash in the spirit of Christmas this year. I am a giving person. That is all.

Jason didn't say much more about it. We finished helping Santa and headed for bed. The next morning we all got up around 7 am and snacked on milk and cookies for breakfast while we explained to Kenny that Christmas morning was the time to open those pretty gifts. I know I know, "Cookies! For Breakfast??! What kind of mom does that??!!" Honestly, on Christmas morning, this kind of mom does that.

Christmas morning was AWESOME!! Kenny got the hang of tearing away at those gifts pretty quick. However, he was a bit disappointed when all he found in most of them was a stupid box. I was so happy just to have him stay awake. He was only 6 months old on his first Christmas, so he slept most of the time. Jason spent the morning opening cheesy gift after cheesy gift, taking the time to glare at me in between each one. I admit it now, I did go overboard, but it was fun! I love wrapping stuff anyway. Making each little thing more special by wrapping it up in pretty paper and bows brings the girl out in me.

We spent the day playing with our new toys and simply just getting in some time together before our family grew. With Christmas over, I had to turn my mind to birth of our little girl. The fears came back. The frustrations and worry came back. Still, the excitement was overwhelming. I am gonna be a mom x2!! Everything is going to be perfect. Kenny will grow up to protect his little sister. They will be best friends and will always have each other for a shoulder to lean on.

I didn't know what to do with Kenny while I was in the hospital. He isn't old enough to understand. Carol offered to take him for the first night and then my cousin Alisa offered to take him for the second night. I have never been away from Kenny overnight. Believe it or not, I spent half of the next week writing down special, detailed instructions as to how to take care of, entertain, feed, bathe, nap and dress Kenny while he was without me. Yes, it included a very specific time table for each thing. Silly Mommy. I actually wondered if he would forget about me while I was gone. My miracle boy was going to go to bed without a kiss from me. He wouldn't have me there to feed him his breakfast.

I spent more time crying and fretting about Kenny than I did about my impending C-section. At least the baby will have me there, Kenny won't. I was more upset than I should have been. Hormones? Maybe. Regardless, I spent a week breaking my own heart.