Now What?

I am pregnant. Ok. Pregnant. Knocked up. Again. With child. Glowing. A mommy to the second power. So, now what?

Let's figure this out.
Jason and I talked and talked, discussed and planned. Two kids. A two bedroom house. One bath. No problem, we will be a close family. Dwelling handled. Then Jason asked if I thought it was a boy or girl. "Girl" I said. Hmm, so the dwelling thing would still be ok until Kenny turns....what, maybe 7 or 8? They just share the larger of the two rooms. Done.
Next.
Two kids are twice as expensive. Though, we save a ton not having to buy a new car seat, stroller etc. But we need another crib. We can do that. Some clothes can be handed down, and a baby shower with a request for "girlie" stuff will take care of the rest. Great.
Next.
When to tell people. Gee, that isn't hard. We will tell family if they ask but try to wait the 3 months like we did with Kenny. Cool. Even better, the three month mark falls close to Kenny's 1st bday, he can wear a shirt that says, "I will be a big brother." We will see who can guess. Neat!
Next.
Mommy. Jason went through a long list of concerns about my health. Will I be too tired, will my psoriasis, arthritis, sciatic be able to hold up another pregnancy so soon? I simply replied,"It is a little late to think of that, don't ya think?" I love that my husband is protective and concerned for me, but I am no China Doll. He then suggested hiring a part time nanny if we can budget it. Good LORD! What am I? Some Victorian era Belle that gets the "vapors" because my corset is too tight?!!? Gee, let's get a wet nurse too. Then we can turn the garage into a den and smoke pipes and drink martinis while reading old Dickens novels with Mozart quietly playing in the background. We won't raise our own kids, nope, let some sad, homely, man-less woman do it for us. Better yet! Let's get a french maid to clean the house and service the husband when I am too tired for sex because I have spent all day yelling at the wet nurse!!! Come on!! We can do better still!! Let's just have a marriage of convenience...we could get a pool boy too. He can give me a "massage" while I watch the soaps and eat bon bons when the kids are napping!!! Now, that is a plan!!

Jason didn't appreciate my sarcasm.

We moved on. We mapped out a rough plan for finances, living space, things we need, things we don't. We even made a "medical" plan. Things I promised to talk to the doctor about, get tested for etc, after the baby was born.

So, we are ready. Right?

We both seemed to get more excited as every day passed. I, now a veteran of the baby section at Wal-mart, allowed myself to pick up some gender neutral stuff. I reminded myself everytime that it wasn't a "sure"thing that this baby was a girl. Still, I had to buy stuff. I was full on addicted to the whole baby thing.

We focused on Kenny's first birthday. July 6th. The party was to be held on the 8th to accommodate friends and family. We spent WAY too much on that party. We had a HUGE back yard BBQ. Just about everyone made the trip, including my grandma from LA, on my dad's side. It was awesome! We had to build a tent city in the back yard to house some of the guests. My mom and dad made the trip with my sister, her kids and my brother's kids. My brother was manning fires in CA and his girlfriend had to work so they didn't come. Jason manned the grill and drank beer with all the men. Most of who wore a t-shirt proclaiming him to be the best, dad, grandpa, etc. The women fussed over Kenny and the other kids. Carol and her family came. What a relief!! She was my rock. This family "merger" thing just about drove me nuts. Everyone knew ahead of time that I was pregnant so that wasn't a big deal. Kenny did wear a "I'm gonna be a big brother" shirt. It was a chaotic mess. I had to bite my tongue a few times (and you don't know how hard that is for me) but we all got through it with smiles, both genuine and not so genuine. Kenny was so tired. He refused to nap earlier. He had taken a liking to my friend (since age 5) Tonya. She gave him straight apple juice where I usually watered it down. She instantly became his new girlfriend. At cake time he ended up rubbing blue frosting into his eyes. That was so sad. By the time he was flopping over in the high chair, Jason took him in for a bath. He had to change the water twice because it kept turning blue. I was running on pure adrenaline. I just wanted my house back in order before bed. Carol stayed and helped clean up. Did I say how awesome she is?!!?
I am One!!

With everything done, and only half of the guests actually not staying at my house, I retreated to Kenny's room, grabbed him sleeping from his crib, creeped to our room, closed the door and snuggled up with a baby in my arms and one in my belly. I sang softly to both of them and drifted off to sleep.

Another milestone passed. I got so sad. Why does he have to grow up? It sucked!! To make things worse, I am only pregnant for 9 months. Damn. That isn't long enough. The next prenatal appointment was coming soon too. We should hear the heartbeat. I didn't even feel like I had been pregnant long enough yet. No Fair no fair!! I wanted desperately to slow down time. Kenny is close to walking. I have already felt flutters from the baby growing inside me. Pretty soon I was going to watch them graduate college!! NO FAIR!