Early morning on the 3rd of January, Jason, Felicia and I were walking the halls trying to get my strength up, not to mention trying to curb some of the cabin fever-like feelings I was starting to get being stuck in that room. While walking by the nurses station I overheard someone talking about how small the preemie baby girl was that was delivered late the night before. Apparently the mom went into labor and delivered just fine, but the baby was about 3 weeks early. I started to cry. How frightening it must be for her. I didn't even want to imagine how horribly afraid that poor mother must be...how she must think she did something wrong. I asked the nurse if the mother and baby were still at this hospital or if they were to be transferred to Reno. She said that they were staying here, so far, unless complications present themselves.
When we got back to our room, I called Carol. I told her that in Felicia's dresser there is a little preemie outfit that someone sent for Christmas. I asked her to bring it in when she brings Kenny by. She told me she would.
I remember opening that gift Christmas morning. I was actually hurt by the notion of receiving a "preemie" sized outfit for the baby. Was it to be expected that this overweight, unhealthy, horrible person couldn't possibly carry this baby full term? What kind of person thought of me like that!!!?? Now I wonder if maybe it was meant to be.
Carol and Kenny arrived. Kenny was super excited to see us again. He was more interested in his sister because she was a little more aware. She was laying on the bed in front of me looking around. When she and Kenny made eye contact, they stared at each other for a long time. Kenny giggled! Felicia made weird noises and farted a lot. I just grinned and grinned with tears rolling off my face while I watched. I want these two to love and know and rely on each other forever. This is the first sign that my dream may be realized.
Around two, Carol headed home. She had to go back to taking care of her family. After a few quick "coos" at Felicia and a big sloppy kiss and hug from Kenny she told me she would call me tomorrow and headed out the door. Our little family was all in one room. I gave Felicia to Jason and held Kenny for a while. We talked about his new sister and all the fun we were going to have when Mommy got better. Soon it was time for Jason to take Kenny to my cousin's house for the night. They left.
I wiggled out of bed, grabbed Felicia and the preemie outfit and went for a little walk. I made it to the nurses station a little faster than earlier in the day. I was getting better. Feeling stronger. I asked the nurse if she would please give the little outfit to the mom with the early baby. The nurse teared up. I explained my reasoning. No one plans on a preemie. All the baby shower gifts are geared for 0-3 months old. I know all mine were. This little baby deserves to have something more than the tacky hospital t-shirt to wear. Every girl needs to feel pretty. I told her it was washed about two days ago in Baby Dreft and to please tell the mom that I am thinking about her. The nurse was crying and I was crying and Felicia was looking at me like I was a basket case. I headed back to my room.
Jason got back just as Doc Hall was giving Felicia her last check up. He said that she was ready to go home when I was. She looks great, healthy, happy and he wants to see her about four days after we get home. The nurse handed him a clipboard, he signed the release papers and they both left. I looked at Jason. "I want to go home." Jason rolled his eyes. "Just one more night. We can go home in the morning." I reached over and hit the nurse call button. When supernurse came in I brightened up. She told me she had just come on shift and was happy to see that we were doing well. I told her I wanted to go home. "I will have to get the doctor to sign you out, but I doubt he will." I grinned," Oh, he will let me go. He knows how much I hate hospitals."
Doc Chacon came into the room about 6 that evening. He poked and prodded, checked and rechecked then asked, "Did Hall come to check on Felicia yet?" I nodded. "Ok, then you can go, but take it easy. You are still very weak. I want to see you in three days and I better not see any infection or I won't release you early next time." I smiled at him. "Ok." He signed the paperwork and we packed. We headed home about 7:30pm.
I admit (you better not tell anyone), I was too weak to drive. I actually let Jason drive us all the way home. It took about 40 minutes since it had started to snow. We got home and Felicia and I settled in while Jason went to get Kenny. I think we offended my cousin by picking him up early, but I was never concerned about her taking care of him. I was concerned about missing him so horribly my heart literally ached. I just wanted everyone home, with me.
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Monday, March 2, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
She's so Pink!!
3 a.m. Jason gently kisses my cheek and attempts to wake me up. "It is time to go meet our baby, Honey." I open my eyes, glare at him through a fog of sleep and tell him,"Go away." I turn my back to him and roll over. He persists, "C'mom Paula, we have to get ready so that we can get to the hospital in time." I look over at his nightstand. It is 3 a.m. As I snuggle back into the covers and my soft pillow, I tell him, "I am not getting there two hours early just to wait and worry. Wake me up at 4. The surgery is scheduled at 6. We will get there at 5. Now, go away." Jason left the room mumbling curses to himself at my stubbornness. I heard him whisper something to Carol in the hallway. I went back to sleep holding my precious belly.
3:30 a.m. Jason again, gently kisses my cheek and tells me it's time to get up. I open my eyes, look at the clock and reply, "Go away. I said 4!" He left, again mumbling complaints under his breath.
Just shy of 4 a.m. I got up, went into the bathroom and took a shower. During my shower I sang to my belly. Jason came into the bathroom. I again told him to go away. These were my very last moments alone with my sweet baby. After my shower, I gooped on my psoriasis medication, got dressed and packed my bathroom gear into my over night case. Jason carried my baggage, the baby car seat and his little duffel bag out to the truck. I went into Kenny's room and sat next to his crib. I talked to both kids again, telling them how great a friendship they will have. I told Kenny I would miss him. I kissed his hand. Carol stood in the doorway and whispered the time. Fine. I guess it is time to go. I kissed Kenny again and made my way to the living room.
I hugged Carol, went over the plan to take care of Kenny again and grabbed my jacket and purse. Jason and I climbed into the truck. Of course, I drove. It was still dark and very cold outside. It just didn't seem like life was real. My head was filled with worry, wonder and the promise of a beautiful face containing beautiful eyes that would soon capture a place in my permanent memory file. I must admit. Considering the crap I went through with the nurses while I was in the hospital having Kenny, I was gearing myself up for another fight. I was working up the vocabulary that I would use the moment I got pissed off. Various conversations were running through my head to take care of any situation that could arise.
Jason could tell I was working myself into a lather. He tried to keep me calm. "It should be nice in the new hospital." I nodded. "Doc Chacon said that there is all new staff in the maternity wing." I nodded. "At least the roads aren't icy." I nodded. "You know Carol will take great care of Kenny. She is going to bring him to the hospital this afternoon." I nodded. He gave up. I know it sounds cruel, I just didn't feel like talking. My head was filled to the top with too much emotion.
We pulled into the parking lot. I got out and smoked a cigarette. It was just after 5 a.m. Jason hauled out the luggage and we started for the door. We had to go through emergency since the hospital proper was closed. They called upstairs and verified that I was scheduled. What moron would go to the hospital, 5 am, pregnant, cold and tired for no reason unless they were scheduled for surgery.
After entering, we walked down a long corridor, headed for the elevators. I looked at the closed coffee stand longingly. When we got to the fourth floor, we had to talk through an intercom to be let inside. While approaching the nursing station I eyed the girls with contempt. I didn't recognize any of them. A plus for them. They were all smiles and brightness. Ick. They took me to a wonderful room with a great view of the parking lot and the mountains behind it. Not bad. I started to relax. It was clean and comfortable. My nurse showed me around the room, the amenities and helped me get into my gown then into bed. She hooked up my IV. Got it the first try. A plus for her. She then brought in paperwork to fill out and go over. When I handed the papers back to here, she voiced her concern as to how late I was. "You were due to be here at 4 so that we could do the surgery prep." I glared at her. "Are we done prepping?" I asked. She nodded yes. "The clock says that it is 5:50 am, the surgery is at 6 a.m. Why the hell should I have come on any earlier?" She got a smug little look on her face, but it was gone in an instant. "I guess it will be ok," she said.
The nurse left the room and Jason and I made idle chat for a while. He was excited. I was excited. It was time. We are going to meet our daughter.
Chacon came in dressed in scrubs, all smiles and giddiness. He brought in the anesthesiologist, introduced him and told me he would see me in the operating room. The anesthesiologist didn't look too happy about being up so early. He was not into chit chat and simply explained the procedure. The surgical nurses showed up, took Jason to get him in his scrubs and I was wheeled into the operating room. The anesthesiologist and a nurse sat me up and a needle was shoved into my spine. Hit it the first time. These people were actually getting on my good side.
Jason and I chatted for a little while as my body went numb and the nurses shaved me for surgery. Chacon and Hall came into the room. Doc Hall is our pediatrician. I was tilted back and the prepping was done. Chacon, grinning as usual asked me if I was ready. All of a sudden my excitement and sorrow hit me full force. Tears were rolling out of my eyes. "Is there anything wrong?" Chacon asked. "No, I am ready. I just don't think I am ready to let her go yet." Chacon said, "I know, you went through this with Kenny. She is ready to come out and everything looks good. In just a few moments you will meet your daughter." I smiled, "Alright. Let's go."
They made the incision, shoved me around this way and that. I held Jason's hand and tried to relax. There seemed to be more pain this time, but that could just be the whole birth-nesia thing that women go through. I tilted my head forward and called to Chacon, "You better make sure that she cries!" He glanced over at me, "Don't worry, she is a feisty little thing. Right now she is dancing around. She will be crying the moment she pops out." One of the nurses made comment,"You know this will be the first baby of the year." I commented back, "Don't bullshit me just to get my mind off this, it won't work." Chacon chimed in. "No, she is right. No one came in yesterday. In fact we haven't had a delivery since Dec 29th. Paula, you are having the first baby of the New Year at this hospital!" I was stunned. This couldn't be possible. It is January 2nd. There is like a ton of babies born every day, how can I have the first baby of the New Year?
The pressure increased in my chest as my innards were shoved into my rib cage. Chacon asked his assistants if they were ready. They were. "Here she comes." I felt a little pressure release as he pulled the baby out. A nurse gasped, "She is so PINK!" I went into a panic. "What is wrong!!" I screamed. The nurse replied, "Nothing is wrong, sweetheart. She is perfect and pink and beautiful." I was instantly jealous. It isn't fair that someone else go to see her first.
There was a sucking noise and then our daughter proved to the world that her lungs were fully developed and ready for action. My God did she scream. She was more pissed off than Kenny was. That beautiful sound. That wonderful cry of life filled my ears and brought tears to my eyes. I never thought any emotion could come close to the feelings I had when I first heard Kenny cry. I was wrong. Her voice, pure emotion and fear. Pure strength, filled my heart and my soul with hope and wonder. Nothing in this world is more beautiful than that sound, and I am the luckiest person on the planet because I got to hear it twice. Our son was pissed when he came into the world, our sweet daughter seemed "pissed-er", still I was elated. I felt lifted to a higher consciencness. I am again...a mom.
Doc Chacon lifted her up so that I could see her. She looked just like Kenny did! WOW! I mean JUST like Kenny did. Jason was called to go with the Hall to take vitals and record her weight and such. I listened to her cry and closed my eyes as the crew started to piece me back together. After a few moments, Jason came over to me, holding our precious angel bundled in his arms. I reached out for her. Oh LORD, she is beautiful. She stopped crying and glared at me. Jason said, "Look, she has your pissy glare!" Chacon looked over, "She does look like you Paula, she is beautiful. Congratulations." I didn't care if they were attempting compliments or smart-assed comments. I was glued to this angel. Her eyes, crystal blue. Her face, strong and beautiful. Her nose, so petite. Her skin, so pink!
Felicia Lorraine, Born Jan 2, 8:05 am, 6lbs, 8 oz, 17 1/2 in long
I got to hold her for a moment more before Jason and Hall took her away while the surgery was finished. I longed for her. I missed her so much. My heart ached that she wasn't there with me. That is the hardest part of having a baby to me. I knew Jason was with her, but I was jealous because it wasn't me.
They brought me into recovery and I again fought this stupid procedure. I didn't want to go to sleep. I didn't want to rest, heal or recover. I want my daughter. The nurse wasn't as stupid as the nurse in charge of me when I had Kenny. She made me a deal. 20 minutes and then I would be allowed back into my room with my baby and my husband. Hmm. Ok. I didn't have the energy to fight this time like I did when I had Kenny.
After 20 minutes they wheeled me into my room. I held my daughter and fell asleep.
3:30 a.m. Jason again, gently kisses my cheek and tells me it's time to get up. I open my eyes, look at the clock and reply, "Go away. I said 4!" He left, again mumbling complaints under his breath.
Just shy of 4 a.m. I got up, went into the bathroom and took a shower. During my shower I sang to my belly. Jason came into the bathroom. I again told him to go away. These were my very last moments alone with my sweet baby. After my shower, I gooped on my psoriasis medication, got dressed and packed my bathroom gear into my over night case. Jason carried my baggage, the baby car seat and his little duffel bag out to the truck. I went into Kenny's room and sat next to his crib. I talked to both kids again, telling them how great a friendship they will have. I told Kenny I would miss him. I kissed his hand. Carol stood in the doorway and whispered the time. Fine. I guess it is time to go. I kissed Kenny again and made my way to the living room.
I hugged Carol, went over the plan to take care of Kenny again and grabbed my jacket and purse. Jason and I climbed into the truck. Of course, I drove. It was still dark and very cold outside. It just didn't seem like life was real. My head was filled with worry, wonder and the promise of a beautiful face containing beautiful eyes that would soon capture a place in my permanent memory file. I must admit. Considering the crap I went through with the nurses while I was in the hospital having Kenny, I was gearing myself up for another fight. I was working up the vocabulary that I would use the moment I got pissed off. Various conversations were running through my head to take care of any situation that could arise.
Jason could tell I was working myself into a lather. He tried to keep me calm. "It should be nice in the new hospital." I nodded. "Doc Chacon said that there is all new staff in the maternity wing." I nodded. "At least the roads aren't icy." I nodded. "You know Carol will take great care of Kenny. She is going to bring him to the hospital this afternoon." I nodded. He gave up. I know it sounds cruel, I just didn't feel like talking. My head was filled to the top with too much emotion.
We pulled into the parking lot. I got out and smoked a cigarette. It was just after 5 a.m. Jason hauled out the luggage and we started for the door. We had to go through emergency since the hospital proper was closed. They called upstairs and verified that I was scheduled. What moron would go to the hospital, 5 am, pregnant, cold and tired for no reason unless they were scheduled for surgery.
After entering, we walked down a long corridor, headed for the elevators. I looked at the closed coffee stand longingly. When we got to the fourth floor, we had to talk through an intercom to be let inside. While approaching the nursing station I eyed the girls with contempt. I didn't recognize any of them. A plus for them. They were all smiles and brightness. Ick. They took me to a wonderful room with a great view of the parking lot and the mountains behind it. Not bad. I started to relax. It was clean and comfortable. My nurse showed me around the room, the amenities and helped me get into my gown then into bed. She hooked up my IV. Got it the first try. A plus for her. She then brought in paperwork to fill out and go over. When I handed the papers back to here, she voiced her concern as to how late I was. "You were due to be here at 4 so that we could do the surgery prep." I glared at her. "Are we done prepping?" I asked. She nodded yes. "The clock says that it is 5:50 am, the surgery is at 6 a.m. Why the hell should I have come on any earlier?" She got a smug little look on her face, but it was gone in an instant. "I guess it will be ok," she said.
The nurse left the room and Jason and I made idle chat for a while. He was excited. I was excited. It was time. We are going to meet our daughter.
Chacon came in dressed in scrubs, all smiles and giddiness. He brought in the anesthesiologist, introduced him and told me he would see me in the operating room. The anesthesiologist didn't look too happy about being up so early. He was not into chit chat and simply explained the procedure. The surgical nurses showed up, took Jason to get him in his scrubs and I was wheeled into the operating room. The anesthesiologist and a nurse sat me up and a needle was shoved into my spine. Hit it the first time. These people were actually getting on my good side.
Jason and I chatted for a little while as my body went numb and the nurses shaved me for surgery. Chacon and Hall came into the room. Doc Hall is our pediatrician. I was tilted back and the prepping was done. Chacon, grinning as usual asked me if I was ready. All of a sudden my excitement and sorrow hit me full force. Tears were rolling out of my eyes. "Is there anything wrong?" Chacon asked. "No, I am ready. I just don't think I am ready to let her go yet." Chacon said, "I know, you went through this with Kenny. She is ready to come out and everything looks good. In just a few moments you will meet your daughter." I smiled, "Alright. Let's go."
They made the incision, shoved me around this way and that. I held Jason's hand and tried to relax. There seemed to be more pain this time, but that could just be the whole birth-nesia thing that women go through. I tilted my head forward and called to Chacon, "You better make sure that she cries!" He glanced over at me, "Don't worry, she is a feisty little thing. Right now she is dancing around. She will be crying the moment she pops out." One of the nurses made comment,"You know this will be the first baby of the year." I commented back, "Don't bullshit me just to get my mind off this, it won't work." Chacon chimed in. "No, she is right. No one came in yesterday. In fact we haven't had a delivery since Dec 29th. Paula, you are having the first baby of the New Year at this hospital!" I was stunned. This couldn't be possible. It is January 2nd. There is like a ton of babies born every day, how can I have the first baby of the New Year?
The pressure increased in my chest as my innards were shoved into my rib cage. Chacon asked his assistants if they were ready. They were. "Here she comes." I felt a little pressure release as he pulled the baby out. A nurse gasped, "She is so PINK!" I went into a panic. "What is wrong!!" I screamed. The nurse replied, "Nothing is wrong, sweetheart. She is perfect and pink and beautiful." I was instantly jealous. It isn't fair that someone else go to see her first.
There was a sucking noise and then our daughter proved to the world that her lungs were fully developed and ready for action. My God did she scream. She was more pissed off than Kenny was. That beautiful sound. That wonderful cry of life filled my ears and brought tears to my eyes. I never thought any emotion could come close to the feelings I had when I first heard Kenny cry. I was wrong. Her voice, pure emotion and fear. Pure strength, filled my heart and my soul with hope and wonder. Nothing in this world is more beautiful than that sound, and I am the luckiest person on the planet because I got to hear it twice. Our son was pissed when he came into the world, our sweet daughter seemed "pissed-er", still I was elated. I felt lifted to a higher consciencness. I am again...a mom.
Doc Chacon lifted her up so that I could see her. She looked just like Kenny did! WOW! I mean JUST like Kenny did. Jason was called to go with the Hall to take vitals and record her weight and such. I listened to her cry and closed my eyes as the crew started to piece me back together. After a few moments, Jason came over to me, holding our precious angel bundled in his arms. I reached out for her. Oh LORD, she is beautiful. She stopped crying and glared at me. Jason said, "Look, she has your pissy glare!" Chacon looked over, "She does look like you Paula, she is beautiful. Congratulations." I didn't care if they were attempting compliments or smart-assed comments. I was glued to this angel. Her eyes, crystal blue. Her face, strong and beautiful. Her nose, so petite. Her skin, so pink!
Felicia Lorraine, Born Jan 2, 8:05 am, 6lbs, 8 oz, 17 1/2 in long
I got to hold her for a moment more before Jason and Hall took her away while the surgery was finished. I longed for her. I missed her so much. My heart ached that she wasn't there with me. That is the hardest part of having a baby to me. I knew Jason was with her, but I was jealous because it wasn't me.
They brought me into recovery and I again fought this stupid procedure. I didn't want to go to sleep. I didn't want to rest, heal or recover. I want my daughter. The nurse wasn't as stupid as the nurse in charge of me when I had Kenny. She made me a deal. 20 minutes and then I would be allowed back into my room with my baby and my husband. Hmm. Ok. I didn't have the energy to fight this time like I did when I had Kenny.
After 20 minutes they wheeled me into my room. I held my daughter and fell asleep.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Playing Hide & Seek
My heart beat monitor arrived just before Valentine's day. We desperately tried to find the right spot to hear that beautiful "boom boom boom," but we were simply not in luck. Valentine's day was great. My husband (I suppose I should give his name), Jason brought me flowers, a card and took me out to dinner. When we got home he handed me a little bag. In the bag was a card for the baby wishing a happy Valentine's Day and two little wrist rattles. Baby's first real toy! I was so excited that Jason thought of the baby. I was so excited that next Valentine's Day I would be holding that baby. Ok, I was just excited!
Our first appointment with the new OBGYN, Dr. Chacon was scheduled for Feb 28th. As usual I walked into the office with a huge chip on my shoulder. Ready and willing to lash him with my new found, protective mommy-viper tongue at the first sign of trouble. Kolbalter must have tipped him off because Chacon was very nice, sweet and understanding. The only reference he made to my weight was to tell me it would be difficult to see me "showing baby belly" as I got further along. DUH! (Fat people aren't all in denial) and in complete wonder told me that I had lost another 5 lbs. What can I say, the baby is hungry.
We got to listen again to the beautiful sound of the heart and talked about any concerns I had, he had, we had about possible complications. I was concerned about passing on Psoriasis. He wasn't. He was concerned about gestational diabeties. I wasn't. He asked me to take one of those tolerance tests anyway. Ok, fine. He gave me a lab slip and after all the "getting to know you" stuff was done he sent us to another room for a checkup sonogram.
I was expecting to see the sex of the baby. Look for that "christmas tree" or "taco" right? NO. Our sweet little soon to be bundle was hidng. Not only hiding, but turning away from the pressure the technician applied when she pushed and pulled the wand accross my belly. The legs were pulled up so tight. The hands were actually covering the privates!! AAGGHH! I said," What a little stinker!" My husband (smartass) said," Just like Mommy!" We recieved our picture printouts, were told that the baby was right on schedule and headed home.
Three new pictures of BABY! I carried them all over the place with me, showing them to anyone who was willing to put up with me. I am sure I drove people crazy. Hmm. I guess I don't care. I was so happy and proud.
The next morning, after fasting as directed, I headed for the lab for the tolerance test. The lady handed me this little bottle of sparkling water, told me to drink it then I was to sit for an hour before I got my blood drawn. Ok. I drank it. Ick, Icky Ickiest! The same guy who thought up the mamogram must have invented this potion from hell. I sat in the lab and started to get dizzy. The lab lady said, don't worry. You'll be fine. I didn't feel fine. I thought I was going to fall over! This is nuts. The dizziness started to subside. She drew the blood and sent me on my way. I remember leaving the lab thinking " Thank God I only have to do this once!" We got a call from the doctor's nurse a couple days later. Blood sugar level was 89. She sounded surprised. Not all fat people are diabetic! Good lord, when will doctors learn.
A week passed. Then it happened. THE KICK. No flutter, no butterfly (still had bad potato cravings though). This was a real, honest to goodness kick! I danced all over the room, singing and screaming and gushing with joy. I called Jason at work. I called my mom, my friends, my grandma, my aunt....I even told the telemarketer that called a few hours later! THE BABY WAS KICKING! Woo Hoo. That night Jason and I sat on the bed and listened to the heartbeat at home. We called his parents and made them listen over the phone. We called my parents and did the same. I took the monitor to my grandmother's house the next day and made her listen to it too. All this time the baby was kicking and dancing in my belly. JOY. Unfortunately, the baby wasn't kicking for Jason. This really started to get to him. He was trying to hide it, but I could tell that he really wanted to be a part of my joy. It was another month before Jason could feel the kicks.
Papa. Jason's grandfather. A sweet old Italian with a love for the ladies and a sweet disposition. In fact, after our wedding I recieved grinning, but chagrinned reports of him "hugging" the ladies a little tight. Even my grandma!! It always makes me smile, and none of them really minded either. I knew about his special hugs, I have received several. Anyway, Papa wasn't doing well so we drove to Napa to visit him.
I started to feel a pain. A pain I never really had before. The drive lasted about 5 hours or so. The worst part was driving down I80 between Sacramento and Napa. That part of the highway needs some serious care. Bumpy, rough and uncomfortable, but pain didn't come from my belly. Nope, I had my very first hemmorroid. Not a little discomfort. Nope. I am talking about can't-sit-down, burning, swelling, crying, pleading with God to make it go away kind of discomfort. I didn't realize that my butt was so vindictive!! I was just trying to support my husband. Visit a relative, show my love. So why the hell was my butt attacking me?!? Walking hurt, sitting hurt, THINKING HURT. I called the doctor as soon as we got to Napa. Begging him to give me a magical cure. Nope. Just wash it, don't strain in the bathroom and put some witch hazel on it. Ok, witch hazel. That has gotta fix it right? The cure. A homeopathic cure, safe for the baby. I can do this.
OH MY GOD!! The burning, stinging, screaming. We were staying at a relatives house and while I lay on the bed in the spare room and Jason following doctors orders tortured me with this witch hazel (properly named) I screamed so loud that people came running. This wasn't normal. No way! Jason's mom came in and told us to put a warm cloth over the hemmorroid to ease the pain. It worked, a little. She wanted to look at it. Jeez, why the hell not. Sure, I have no shame. Take pictures and we can send them in the Christmas card!! She said it was a really bad one. Bigger than she has ever seen. She told me to relax, take it easy and lay on my side. I did. I took a three hour nap. When I woke up, it was better. A little better, but it still hurt like hell.
The rest of the visit went well. Papa seemed ok, but having just lost my grandfather made the visit difficult for me. Pregnancy emotions are like riding an out of control roller coaster. I hugged a lot of people, smiled a lot and tried my best to keep things "on the bright side." There was a lot of talk about the pregnancy, naming the baby and so on. It was pleasant and comforting to be among family, and that the family was excited about the baby too.
To my surprise( after posting a begging plea for friendship on one of the parenting sites) I found a couple of girls in my area who were also expecting first timers. Granted, they lived the next town over, but it was only a 20 minute drive. We started our relationships just chatting and emailing back and forth about concerns and worries. These girls were all a few years younger than I but we bonded well enough to rely on each other. Crystal, due in September. Jen, due in late July.
Our first appointment with the new OBGYN, Dr. Chacon was scheduled for Feb 28th. As usual I walked into the office with a huge chip on my shoulder. Ready and willing to lash him with my new found, protective mommy-viper tongue at the first sign of trouble. Kolbalter must have tipped him off because Chacon was very nice, sweet and understanding. The only reference he made to my weight was to tell me it would be difficult to see me "showing baby belly" as I got further along. DUH! (Fat people aren't all in denial) and in complete wonder told me that I had lost another 5 lbs. What can I say, the baby is hungry.
We got to listen again to the beautiful sound of the heart and talked about any concerns I had, he had, we had about possible complications. I was concerned about passing on Psoriasis. He wasn't. He was concerned about gestational diabeties. I wasn't. He asked me to take one of those tolerance tests anyway. Ok, fine. He gave me a lab slip and after all the "getting to know you" stuff was done he sent us to another room for a checkup sonogram.
I was expecting to see the sex of the baby. Look for that "christmas tree" or "taco" right? NO. Our sweet little soon to be bundle was hidng. Not only hiding, but turning away from the pressure the technician applied when she pushed and pulled the wand accross my belly. The legs were pulled up so tight. The hands were actually covering the privates!! AAGGHH! I said," What a little stinker!" My husband (smartass) said," Just like Mommy!" We recieved our picture printouts, were told that the baby was right on schedule and headed home.
Three new pictures of BABY! I carried them all over the place with me, showing them to anyone who was willing to put up with me. I am sure I drove people crazy. Hmm. I guess I don't care. I was so happy and proud.
The next morning, after fasting as directed, I headed for the lab for the tolerance test. The lady handed me this little bottle of sparkling water, told me to drink it then I was to sit for an hour before I got my blood drawn. Ok. I drank it. Ick, Icky Ickiest! The same guy who thought up the mamogram must have invented this potion from hell. I sat in the lab and started to get dizzy. The lab lady said, don't worry. You'll be fine. I didn't feel fine. I thought I was going to fall over! This is nuts. The dizziness started to subside. She drew the blood and sent me on my way. I remember leaving the lab thinking " Thank God I only have to do this once!" We got a call from the doctor's nurse a couple days later. Blood sugar level was 89. She sounded surprised. Not all fat people are diabetic! Good lord, when will doctors learn.
A week passed. Then it happened. THE KICK. No flutter, no butterfly (still had bad potato cravings though). This was a real, honest to goodness kick! I danced all over the room, singing and screaming and gushing with joy. I called Jason at work. I called my mom, my friends, my grandma, my aunt....I even told the telemarketer that called a few hours later! THE BABY WAS KICKING! Woo Hoo. That night Jason and I sat on the bed and listened to the heartbeat at home. We called his parents and made them listen over the phone. We called my parents and did the same. I took the monitor to my grandmother's house the next day and made her listen to it too. All this time the baby was kicking and dancing in my belly. JOY. Unfortunately, the baby wasn't kicking for Jason. This really started to get to him. He was trying to hide it, but I could tell that he really wanted to be a part of my joy. It was another month before Jason could feel the kicks.
Papa. Jason's grandfather. A sweet old Italian with a love for the ladies and a sweet disposition. In fact, after our wedding I recieved grinning, but chagrinned reports of him "hugging" the ladies a little tight. Even my grandma!! It always makes me smile, and none of them really minded either. I knew about his special hugs, I have received several. Anyway, Papa wasn't doing well so we drove to Napa to visit him.
I started to feel a pain. A pain I never really had before. The drive lasted about 5 hours or so. The worst part was driving down I80 between Sacramento and Napa. That part of the highway needs some serious care. Bumpy, rough and uncomfortable, but pain didn't come from my belly. Nope, I had my very first hemmorroid. Not a little discomfort. Nope. I am talking about can't-sit-down, burning, swelling, crying, pleading with God to make it go away kind of discomfort. I didn't realize that my butt was so vindictive!! I was just trying to support my husband. Visit a relative, show my love. So why the hell was my butt attacking me?!? Walking hurt, sitting hurt, THINKING HURT. I called the doctor as soon as we got to Napa. Begging him to give me a magical cure. Nope. Just wash it, don't strain in the bathroom and put some witch hazel on it. Ok, witch hazel. That has gotta fix it right? The cure. A homeopathic cure, safe for the baby. I can do this.
OH MY GOD!! The burning, stinging, screaming. We were staying at a relatives house and while I lay on the bed in the spare room and Jason following doctors orders tortured me with this witch hazel (properly named) I screamed so loud that people came running. This wasn't normal. No way! Jason's mom came in and told us to put a warm cloth over the hemmorroid to ease the pain. It worked, a little. She wanted to look at it. Jeez, why the hell not. Sure, I have no shame. Take pictures and we can send them in the Christmas card!! She said it was a really bad one. Bigger than she has ever seen. She told me to relax, take it easy and lay on my side. I did. I took a three hour nap. When I woke up, it was better. A little better, but it still hurt like hell.
The rest of the visit went well. Papa seemed ok, but having just lost my grandfather made the visit difficult for me. Pregnancy emotions are like riding an out of control roller coaster. I hugged a lot of people, smiled a lot and tried my best to keep things "on the bright side." There was a lot of talk about the pregnancy, naming the baby and so on. It was pleasant and comforting to be among family, and that the family was excited about the baby too.
To my surprise( after posting a begging plea for friendship on one of the parenting sites) I found a couple of girls in my area who were also expecting first timers. Granted, they lived the next town over, but it was only a 20 minute drive. We started our relationships just chatting and emailing back and forth about concerns and worries. These girls were all a few years younger than I but we bonded well enough to rely on each other. Crystal, due in September. Jen, due in late July.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
Posts
