My Family Grows

Lilian is almost 10 months old and I am still shocked that I now have three kids.  Hell, I am shocked when I look into the handsome face of my son, my first miracle and it hits me again and again.  I am a mom.  Being a mom is awesome.

Lilian and I napped in our little room.  I snuggled her up in my arm, supported it with a ton of pillows cause you know, even with the third kid I tend to be a little paranoid.  Next thing I know the nurse is tugging at my arm to take my blood pressure and then she tugged and shoved at the tubes stuck in my arm.  I ignored her.  Heaven is when a baby cuddles you warm and soft. 

I don't know how much time passed but Lilian started to wiggle in my arms.  Immediately I figured she was hungry so I went to set myself up to feed her.  Unfortunately my body had another plan.  They had put so  much drugs into my system and I was so weak.  I couldn't even pull myself up into a sitting position and of course I couldn't reach the damn bed control.  So, I pushed the button I could reach....against my better judgement and called the nurse.  Nurse Betty comes strolling in with a smile.  At least she seemed nice.  Nurses and I usually don't get along so well.  She helped me up and got me situated so I could reach my table and my controls.  Betty refilled my water and ice chips (GOD I LOVE ICE CHIPS), got me some broth and crackers then informed me that Sherry would be by in an hour or so to poke at my incision.  Joy. 

It wasn't long before Nurse Betty was back with a hyper little freak of a nurse to change my dressing, bedding and to remove the catheter.  Joy.  Nurse Freak seemed nice enough but she was beyond odd.  Thinking back on it, she is lucky that she still has use of her arms.  Every damn time I turned around she wanted to take Lilian "off my hands" so I could rest, or go to the bathroom or some other stupid excuse to steal my angel.  All this even after she got my threat speech. 

Paula's Just-Had-A-Baby Threat Speech:
"This is my body and this is my baby.  You do not touch either without my permission.  If my permission is granted, you never leave my sight. You ALWAYS explain to me what you are going to do and why before you do it.  If you think I am kidding feel free to call down to Nevada and see how many nurses either quit or got fired because they crossed me during one of my first two births.  I am not a good patient and I don't play games.  I hate being in the hospital and I don't think very highly of any in the medical profession.  You do not know better than me.  Do not make the mistake of thinking or saying that I am "just an overwhelmed new mom" because that will surely cause me to harm you physically. I will most likely joke with you during the time that I am here, perhaps we will be friends.  IF that happens DO NOT assume that this threat is then void because I will whip around and bite your ass if you piss me off."

Nurse Betty heeded the warning...Nurse Freak thought I was just being funny.  When Sherry came in to check my incision and pick and poke at me I told her that she needed to have a talk with Nurse Freak about me.  I explained that I could tell this chick didn't get me at all.  Sherry grinned and said she would talk to her. 

My blood pressure was through the roof so Sherry was playing the heavy and started to spout orders to me about drinking more water (please lady, I drink enough to drown a fish!) and to not stress, listen to the nurses (fat chance) yadda yadda.  She planned to stop in on her way home this evening to check in on me.  Ok.  Fine. 

Sherry left me in peace just in time for my crew to arrive.  Jason came in with Kenny, Felicia, my Mom and my Dad.  Our little room was crowded.  Felicia looked scared and concerned.  She didn't understand why Mommy was in bed...and what the hell is that little wiggly thing eating mom's boob?  Kenny was all out excited.  He tried to hop on the bed.  Thankfully Jason was able to stop him. 

My Dad did something that still warms my heart.  He asked to hold her.  Dad doesn't hold babies, but he wanted to hold mine.  I handed her to him and he cooed at her and talked to her.  He commented on how beautiful she was and how usually babies are kinda ugly.  It was a sweet thing to watch.  I took her back for a few minutes to introduce her to her siblings.  Kenny wanted to hold her but we talked him out of it.  She was awake and looking around at the strange family she was born into.  I did my best to explain to the kids that Lilian used to be in my tummy but the doctors took her out and now, just like them she is one of my kids.  I think they understood to some degree. 

My Mom took Lilian then. I didn't watch too long cause I so desperately missed my angels.  I had to squeeze and hug and kiss them.  Kenny asked questions and Felicia sucked her thumb.  Lilian started crying about then and I (shame on me) shoved my older two aside so I could make room to get my baby back into my arms.  God, I still feel bad about that today!  I called Nurse Betty in and told her I needed some fresh air.  She looked at me funny.  I told her to please get me a wheel chair cause I wanted to go outside.  She stared at me.  I asked if there was a problem.  She said, "you can't take the baby outside."  DUH,  I told her that I won't.  Jason will stay in the room with Lilian and my mom and I were going outside.  She asked why.  I simply said, "Cause I need a damn cigarette.  I am a little stressed right now.  Did you not hear the "Oh SHIT" during the procedure to hack my baby out of me?"  She looked to the floor and said she would be right back.  Me in a wheel chair, pulling along my IV, my mom, my dad and the older kids made our way out the door. 

Apparently Nurse Betty called the doc to tell on me.  When I got back in the room she was there to take my blood pressure.  I commented that it wasn't time yet.  She simply told me the doc wanted another reading right away.  She turned on the stupid self pumping machine, wrapped my arm and told me to relax.  Ok.  Easy.  I saw the shock on her face as she watched the computer finish the reading.  My mom smirked.  Jason shook his head.  Guess what....that cigarette, even with the extra exertion from going outside brought my BP down about 17 points.  No one bitched about my smoking after that.

My parents left and we settled in.  Jason eventually took the kids to the cafeteria for lunch and I slurped at my broth with my little angel in my arms.